and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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