so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
