Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
