One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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