Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize