if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
