it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
