brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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