I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
