so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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