He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
