in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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