it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
