You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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