I heard we made out
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
