Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
