I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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