you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
