we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
