Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize