i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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