I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
