I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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