I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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