Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
