I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
