So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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