So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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