once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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