Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize