You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
