Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
