I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
