is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
