I'm lost and stupid without you.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
