They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
