Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
cat food counts as protein by the way
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
