i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
