I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
