Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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