can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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