Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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