Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
