oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
pray to the hookup gods
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
