Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
