i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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