Three words: puerto rican gang bang
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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