At least make sure they are 18
Why
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
