um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
