too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
