Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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