i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
