Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
