As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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